Living The Spiritual Life Together

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Cosmic sources tell us that the theme for our universe is "courage." The keynote for our planet is "harmony through conflict." It is a fact that life on planet Earth is hard. For those of us on the path of ascension, we are not only dealing with the more mundane aspects of life, but also with the influx of spiritual energies which have a continual effect on our four-body system. We may find ourselves stuck in traffic, blasted with pollutants, wondering what lesson we are supposed to learn by having a shortage of clients this week and trying to process the great currents of spiritual energy that we just ran through our system while working with our last client of the day.

Upon our arrival home, we may find it hard enough to deal with ourselves, much less with our mate, who is waiting anxiously for our arrival in order to tell us about this incredible spiritual lecture that is happening this evening which we simply cannot miss! Yes, we are deeply in love with our mate, and yes, under different circumstances that lecture sounds most appealing, but this evening it is more than we can bear. How, then, are we to find the balance?

To begin with, we must first be right with ourselves; and this is a time when we need to tip the "selfish-selfless” balance a little more in our favor. We start by lovingly communicating to our partner how we are feeling, and then we take the necessary time for ourselves. If our partner is truly walking the path with us, then there should be no problem in having them understand what is going on with us, and to support us to take care of ourselves. Hopefully this is the case, because in any event, we must have that sense of being right with ourselves, and the ideal is to be supported in that most crucial area.

Being in a tired and depleted state, being perhaps caught between a "rock and a hard place" financially speaking, it will be hard enough to find that quiet place within ourselves where we can regain our center. Life can be hard, and continuing to live it and to maintain it from the highest possible vantage point can be challenging. That is why I am calling to your attention the delicate act of balancing this process with yourself and with your mate.

Of course, in order to manifest this in your relationship, you must first manifest this balance within yourself. This takes work, but it is the work that we are here to do. Our sense of personal balance helps to create an atmosphere wherein we can find the proper balance in our relationships. So it is crucial for us to honor the need for balance within ourselves as a foundation for creating and maintaining a balanced romantic relationship.

Balance Within The Relationship

Returning to the scenario of the tired mate, the first suggestion that I would make to both partners is to try your best to be sensitive to the other one’s needs. If you have been working on yourselves at all, then you should both be able to see where the greatest need lies. Of course, you must both be willing to communicate your needs and preference in the first place, but I am assuming that you have done this. If indeed it is essential for the exhausted partner to get the needed rest, then that takes top priority. The disappointment faced in giving up the idea of attending the outside event together would do well to be honored and ultimately replaced with compassionate understanding and the recognition that disappointment stems from attachment, not the inability to realize your outer objective.

If the outside event is something that you feel you need and it is appropriate that you go by yourself or with a friend, then by all means do so. If it is something that you must do as a couple, or that you choose to do only as a couple, then set the intent to do it at another time. If it is a one-time event then either go alone or let it go. Being in a relationship involves balancing the needs of the two partners. This will mean compromise and not having everything your way all of the time. However, since you have committed to one another, then it follows that you want to be in the relationship and that you, therefore, accept the territory that goes with a relationship. As we are seeking that place of integration and balance within ourselves, we are simply extending that integration and balance to incorporate the couple as well as the individuals.

Living the spiritual life together can, at times, seem much harder than living the spiritual life alone. At other times it can seem quite a lot easier. Viewing the previous scenario through the lens of living alone, you would find yourself at once stuck in traffic, blasted with pollutants, wondering what lesson you are supposed to learn by having a shortage of clients this week, trying to process the great currents of spiritual energy that you ran through your system while working with your last client of the day, racing home to tend to a vast array of daily chores that you were unable to get to because you were at work and having to contend with several telephone calls from excited friends who insist that you simply "cannot miss" this evening’s lecture.

You then might find it much harder to take the respite that you so sorely need because the dog needs to be walked, there is no food in the house and on and on. And if you normally would be interested in the lecture, your exhaustion would cause it to hold little appeal. You might even collapse from utter exhaustion so that you neither could rest adequately or enjoy the lecture.

The above scenario is slightly exaggerated, with a hint of humor thrown in, so that if you find yourself in the position of one of the partners, you might have a greater appreciation for the other one’s predicament and for the part that they are playing in your life. By no means am I saying that to be in a relationship is better than not being in a relationship. If you were going it alone, you would most likely be in a smaller place that did not require a great deal of looking after, or you would hire someone, such as a housekeeper, if you could manage it. You would probably make sure that the refrigerator had the food you liked to eat or else you would have picked up something on the way home.

What I have attempted to demonstrate is that if you are in a relationship, it is not advisable to take your partner for granted, which is a trap almost all of us fall into at one time or another. Or we may resent the five minutes it takes to communicate your point of view or to listen to your partner’s. You are in a relationship with that particular person because you choose to be, so do give the relationship the respect that it deserves, and learn how to balance as a team. What is the point of only being supportive of each other when you see eye to eye? In that case you may as well be alone.

The trick is to find that place of support and mutual balance when you don’t see exactly eye to eye. By doing this in simple situations, as in the above scenario, you will come to learn how to manifest this type of balance and mutual support in more crucial moments. You will also be learning how to function in a group body, which all of us must eventually learn to do on our path of evolution. Therefore, why not begin to practice integration and group balance where you are now, and with the person with whom you are sharing your life? You will find that being in a relationship will provide you with ample opportunities to learn the delicate art of balance and integration, and this is how it should be. So take advantage of the love you share as well as the challenges you provide for one another, and you will be walking the path well together.

Also, understand that if you are interested in accelerating your spiritual growth, ascension process and total Self- realization, there is no quicker path than romantic relationships. This is true because the romantic relationship is the only relationship that is guaranteed to press all your buttons. Your buttons are those faulty thought patterns and complexes that need to be cleansed and cleared to realize God.

So, in truth, romantic relationships are the airplane method to God. Anyone can maintain Christ consciousness while living in a cave. The true test of God-realization is demonstrating this state of consciousness in the market place. And the ultimate market place is living intimately with another human being. Each time you react with negative emotions to your partner’s behavior, bless them for allowing you the opportunity to pass another spiritual test. In the same vein, you should never leave a relationship until you have learned the lessons from that relationship. Otherwise, you will just continue the same patterns with another person.

In every interaction with your partner the choice is always the same: do I want God or do I want my ego? Do I want harmony and spiritual evolution within the group body, or do I want self-centeredness and narcissism? When you can maintain the Christ-consciousness while being immersed in a romantic relationship and fully involved with Earth life, then you have truly achieved Self-realization. Achieving a higher light quotient and passing higher initiations are very important, but they are only part of true Self-realization. Use your relationship as the ultimate crucible for spiritual growth, and be more concerned about learning your own lessons than being attached to your partner learning theirs. When you are right with yourself and right with God, becoming right with your mate becomes a lot easier.

I have seen a great many lightworkers who are at very high levels of initiation and light quotient, with great gifts of channeling, clairvoyance and the like. But in their romantic or professional relationships they are completely dysfunctional. I don’t care if you’ve passed your seven levels of initiation and hold a planetary light quotient of 99%; this in NOT God-realization. So what that you can channel the masters if in the next moment you indulge in childish ego battles with you mate or business partner!

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